PAS otherwise known as Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Parents can become entwined in long arduous custody battles after separation or divorce, however some take it to a new high. Fighting, screaming, power struggles, ego’s and of course money all become “open season” in some of these cases.
It can be said that some parents go to war, cheating, neglect etc, accusations are abound and rife, court hearings now become part of the lives of these families and solicitors are quickly gathering new armour for which they can use to fight cases where there was never armour before. Men back up man and women back up women, gender wars so to speak, but the one question I ask, “who backs up the children?”. Guardian Ad Litem? do they work,? I don not have the evidence to make an empirically grounded assumption but I will in the near future.
I am very aware of Parental Alienation, I was a victim or “target parent”, my partner got a custody case in my absence and due to lies, deceit and crying was able to get that order from a sympathetic judge, he accused me of all kinds of horrific abuse which of course were untrue but a child who is daily barraged with the “stories” of abuse which “I inflicted” on him, as a small child they are susceptible. He believed and even “remembered” the abuse which I had ” bestowed” on him.
Parental Alienation can also be the product of ne parents need to protect a child, but as I found out, it can also be used as a weapon to ensure punishment for the other parent for leaving, which was my case. The power struggle was so immense for him that it chewed up his every day as he was plotting every day how to bestow more revenge on me, meanwhile after 6 court battles and losing due to the “child’s fear” of me I let go, gave up in essence, theres only so much a parent can be accused of treachery, abuse, assault, neglect, and in the latter cases sexual abuse allegation against my family members, so, I gave up, although hurt over losing my child I had other children and I had to move on for them, be a whole parent, so I got on with my life as best as I could.
So, what happened the child, its sad but we have never had a relationship, even after he turned 18 he decided not to have a relationship with any of us, he still “remembered all the abuse” and couldn’t forgive. It was him predominately who got hurt, the other children too but mostly him, as the kids I raised were whole and happy, they had me and each other, and in a sad turn, the child, he only had him, he never met anyone else, he was bitter and angry “and still is” and the child ended up on prescription medications and still take anti-depression medications. His life has been destroyed by the actions of a bitter and angry parent. Child abuse, yes, from him not me. So why was he never brought to justice…. gender bias, of course.
So I hear you say, so then you are a supporter of Parental Alienation Syndrome, NO, In the beginning I was, I was an advocate and even worked on cases to help the alienated parents, however, I became aware quickly that these parents were using this PAS as a weapon, a tool to get what they wanted. It was not being used for the purpose which it was first used, to help. Now PAS is a trick which abusers can use to get custody of their children, whereas this syndrome has no medical backing or empirical testing or research to PROVE it even exists, just opinions of professionals who coined it and now use it to cash in on desperate and ego driven psychopaths to gain power over their ex partners and children, to bully and mentally and physically alienate the children from a parent whose main aim was more than likely to keep them safe.
PAS must be debunked legally and FAST. Before too many psychotic or psychopathic abusers are awarded custody of children who are in a fragile and mentally terrifying place and who need the protection of the law and NOT that of ego driven advocates whose sole purpose is to win cases and prove their points of awarding custody of vulnerable children to the abusers/s and create a lifelong cycle of mental abuse and psychological problems for children.